20 George Carlin Quotes about Life to Inspire You to Live Your Best Life

“Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”

“People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.”

“Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.”

“A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.’”

“Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.”

“My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.”

“There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.”

“Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.”

“Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.”

“When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foot’s hands.”

“People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.”

“There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.”

“It’s important in life if you don’t give a s**t. It can help you a lot.”

“People always tell me ‘Have a nice day.’ Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?”

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”

“People are wonderful one at a time. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them.”

“Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.”

“I think people should be allowed to do what they want. We haven’t tried that for a while. Maybe this time it’ll work.”

“Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.”

“Some people see things that are and ask, ‘Why?’ Some people dream of things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’ Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”

22 Witty George Carlin Quotes and Sarcastic Sayings

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